G-0LV06DT3SY Relationship Myths and How They Affect Us - Breaking Free Authentically: The Sex Positive Relationship Podcast

Episode 6

Published on:

17th Aug 2022

Relationship Myths and How They Affect Us

Episode6: Relationship Myths and How They Affect Us


Today we explore the relationship myths that keep us in unhealthy relationship patterns. We take a look at how it impacts the music we listen to about love and phrases we use regularly to convey love. We learn how to unpack some of these ideas to increase awareness about the effects of our programming on our relationships.

[00:00] Intro

[05:11] Dear Mr. McCartney

[10:22] My problematic Relationship Beliefs from My Manifesto

  1. Marriage is expected to last forever
  2. Marriage is only between one man and one woman
  3. Emotional connections outside the marriage with the opposite sex is frowned upon
  4. Marriage should meet all our needs
  5. Being married means you belong to your spouse
  6. Sex outside of marriage is wrong
  7. Jealousy and Self-sacrifice equals love
  8. Loving more than one person intimately is not possible
  9. Sexual Freedom is shameful and Slut shaming is OK
  10. Sex and Love are not mutually exclusive
  11. Setting Boundaries in your life is mean especially in marriage

[11:58] Problematic Phrases and Quotes

  • You complete me
  • You’re my everything
  • I’m nothing without you
  • You are the only one for me
  • My other half
  • All you need is love
  • You own my heart
  • “I don’t want anyone else to have your heart, kiss your lips, or be in your arms because that is my place.”

Why are they problematic?

How are they perceived?

Do we even notice that they are harmful?  What is the undercurrent to these phrases?

[17:43] Toxic/Problematic Mono beliefs and rituals:

  • Becoming One (it should not be a melded one or becoming one, but instead a united two)  Eg. Unity candle (unity candle with two individual candles being blown out and lighting the unity candle), mixed sand, white wine/red wine, 
  • Concept of ownership in relationships
  • Jealousy means love
  • One Soul Mate
  • No Sex Before Marriage (It’s wrong)
  • Sex is the glue that holds a relationship together
  • You should not have close guy friends (that’s dangerous)
  • One person should meet all your needs

[31:28] Problematic Songs:

  • How Do I Live Without You?  -LeAnn Rimes
  • I Have Nothing  - Whitney Houston
  • Someone You Loved   - Lewis Capaldi
  • You Are The Reason  - Calum Scott
  • When a Man Loves a Woman  - Michael Bolton
  • Someday My Prince Will Come  - Snow White

[45:30] Mononormative Myths from Designer Relationships: A Guide to Happy Monogamy, Positive Polyamory, and Optimistic Open Relationships

  1. Romantic Love Is the Only Foundation for an Enduring Relationship
  2. You Need to Find a Soul Mate
  3. They Lived Happily Ever After
  4. Desiring Someone Else Is a Form of Infidelity
  5. Monogamy Is Natural, Evolutionarily Determined, Optimal, or Divinely Ordained
  6. There is a Right Way to Be Sexual

[01:08:12] Myths About Sluts from The Ethical Slut

  1. Long-term Monogamous Relationships are the only real relationships
  2. Romantic Love is the Only Real Love
  3. Sexual Desire is a Destructive Force
  4. The Only Moral Way to Have Sex is Within a Committed Relationship
  5. Loving Someone Makes it Ok to Control Their Behaviour
  6. Jealousy is Inevitable and Impossible to Overcome
  7. Outside Involvements Reduce Intimacy in the Primary Relationship
  8. Love Conquers All

It's interesting that monogamy myths are so similar to Myths about sluts!

  • Sex Positivity vs shame once again

How do we change our perception?

  • Examine these myths
  • Realise where they are harmful
  • Make shifts to our programming

Do you find that your relationships have been affected by these myths and potentially harmful ideologies?

Are you ready to make changes?

Do you need to work at shifting your mindset?

Book a call with me and we can figure out a solution!

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About the Podcast

Breaking Free Authentically: The Sex Positive Relationship Podcast
The Sex Positive Relationship Podcast
Learning how to Break Free from religious and social programming to truly live a life of authenticity and pleasure. We look at how shifting our mindset about Sex and Sexuality can radically change our relationships and allow them to be more fun, honest, safe, connected, ethical and authentic. We delve into Sex Positivity and what that is while also looking at things like Love Languages, Attachment Styles, and Boundaries to help us Break Free from relationship myths that are keeping us stuck in a world that isn't quite the right fit. We long for true authentic connections and the ability to completely be ourselves. Let's start living!
Follow me on Instagram @karinebedardcoaching

About your host

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Karine Bedard

You've heard, “Sex is wrong! Relationships are supposed to be hard work!”

What you probably didn’t learn is that sex is empowering and that relationships can be free, and fun, and empowered all at the same time! Karine kicks shame and guilt to the curb so that you can live your most authentic life the way that you want to.

She never in her wildest dreams imagined living the Empowered, Sexy, and Authentic life that she lives right now. Discovering Sex Positivity was the catalyst that allowed her to step out and explore a whole new world of possibilities! She is a Bible School Graduate turned Playboy Enthusiast! While studying the “worst of the worst”, she found her people.

Life is not always what we’ve been taught. Karine uses her magnetism, deep love of people and intuition to release her clients from the societal and religious boxes that they have been programmed into. She wants to inspire people to live their truth and discover their often deeply buried sexual desires and bring them to life in a safe and ethical way that empowers them and their relationships.

She is normalizing Ethical Non-Monogamy. She wants couples to step out and discover the beauty and power of true honesty, authenticity, and confidence in relationships. Looking at the world through a Sex Positive lens will absolutely shift how you understand relationships.

She uses her magnetism and transparency to make you feel safe and seen. Her intuition allows her to see exactly what is holding you back in life and her ability to really see you makes you feel accepted and safe with her. Through her openness and vulnerability she is able to transform your fears into joy and excitement. She is the best at bringing you safely into this Sex Positive world without fear or regret. She guides you every step of the way.

She wants more for you than the script you’ve been fed, “Find your soulmate, marry them, and be monogamous forever!” There is so much more than this in life. Step out and finally Break Free!